Author : Michael Bungay Stanier
Say less, ask more & Change the way you lead forever
- Build an habit of coaching regularly
- Ask just one question at a time and wait for the answer
The kickstart question : What’s on your mind ?
3P : Framework for chosing what to focus on in a coaching
- Projects : Any challenges ?
- People : Issues with team members, clients ?
- Patterns : If there is a way that you’re getting in your own way ?
If you know what question to ask, get to the point and ask it.
The AWE question : And what else ?
More options can lead to better decisons, tame the advice monster and just rein yourself in and buy yourself some time.
Stop offering up advices with a fake question mark attached : “have you thought of ?” or “what about?”. Just don’t.
The focus question : What’s the real challenge here for you ?
Proliferation of challenges : “if you had to pick one of those to focus on, which one of those would be the real challenge?”
Coaching the ghost : Bring back the focus to the person. Acknowledge what’s going on and ask the focus question.
Abstraction and generalization : Ground the challenge and connect it
why -> what
The foundation question : What do you want ?
Want <> need
basic 9 needs :
- Affection
- Creation
- Recreation
- Freedom
- Identity
- Understanding
- Participation
- Protection
- Subsistence
How to influence the brain so that situations are rewarding and not risky :
TERA :
- T : Tribe
- E : Expectation
- R : Rank
- A : Autonomy
Stay Silent and let the person think and formulate
The lazy question : How can I help ?
Or be blunt : “Out of curiosity, what do you want from me?”
When they try to suck you in : “That’s a great question. I’ve got some Ideas, which I’ll share withyou. Before I do, what are your first thoughts?”
They provide an answer and then : “Terrific, what else?”
Listen to the answer!
The strategic question : If you are saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?
Strategy in 5 questions:
- What is your winning aspiration ?
- Where will we play ?
- How will we win ?
- What capabilities must be in place ?
- What management systems are required ?
As you define strategy, choose what you will do and what you will not do.
Acknowledge the answers you get “Fantastic”, “I like it”, “Nice”.
The learning question : What was most useful for you ?
“Double loop learnin” Fix problem -> Create a learning moment
Four drivers : Attention, Generation, Emotion, Spacing
Begining of a metting : “What have you learned since we last met?”
Extract value from the conversation
